Sick and anxious and upset and on vacation and lets just go home now so I can take a short nap with some hydrocodone and vodka.
Upon an unfortunate series of events, saw my dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again — sparkling and broken. But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is.
I was always an unusual girl. My mother told me I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean.
And if I said that I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way, I’d be lying — because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one — who belonged to everyone. Who had nothing — who wanted everything. With a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about — and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.
Nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing to desire anymore — except to make life a work of art.
Live fast, die young, be wild, and have fun.
I believe in the person I want to become.
And when I’m at war with myself — I ride.
Who are you — Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you’re free to experience them?
I am fucking crazy. But I am free.